Nebo D. Lukovich
What is a lie? To answer that, we have to know what is the truth in the first place. Are we talking about the real truth or just an information about some person or event? Information about the truth can be conveyed, but the very truth can only be experienced. Therefore, lies are hiding or distorting the information on the truth.
There is no absolute honesty. To achieve that, we would have to be a completely enlightened being. Such a being lives in the Truth and doesn’t have to lie at all. Their life is the Truth and everything around them always mirrors that inner Truth. It’s not always pleasant, though, but it’s always the Truth.
Yet, we are not the enlightened ones. Or at least I am not. So, we do lie. And we will inevitably lie from time to time. We live in this material world, in these bodies with severely limited perception. We don’t recognize the Truth. We are just receiving and filtering streams of information about the world outside and our inner reality as well, all the time.
However, the most important thing on this subject is that we must be honest with ourselves. Always. That’s the precondition for outward honesty.
Are there situations that really demand lies?
The holographic principle teaches us that our surrounding is always a projection of our inner world, in a symbolical way. People around us are always playing different roles corresponding to particular inner parts of our own personality. Therefore, when we are lying to someone, it’s a projection of our fears, anger, desires, beliefs, habits or other aspects of our being.
When we lie to somebody, even if it’s a “white lie,” we are lying to ourselves. That person is a symbolical projection of a part of our own being, demanding an answer. It wants the truth about something. The part has probably been long suppressed and now emerges onto the surface of our being.
The outer communication in which the lie has emerged is a result of relations between the inner parts of our being. One part is asking for the truth, and another is trying to hide it. The relationship in the real world symbolically mirrors the inner conflict.
What is the morality of lying?
The question of moral behavior is certainly of a great importance in any psychological or spiritual system. If we had acted immorally, that action will generate suffering in the long run. Let me cite a few sentences from “Inner Peace, Outer Success”  here: “Immoral conduct inevitably produces remorse inside you, at least on a subconscious level. It also yields resentment in others. Remorse and resentment generate anger and suffering. This will result in major setbacks to your work on yourself and in your life generally.”
 “Inner Peace, Outer Success” by Nebo D. Lukovich, Reintegration Publishing, 2016, https://www.amazon.com/Inner-Peace-Outer-Success-Reintegration-ebook/dp/B01KD221D8
In some life situations, we are indeed forced to lie. There could be a variety of possible reasons for such behavior, many of them being legitimate. For example, if our very survival or the survival of our loved ones has been compromised, sometimes we will be forced to lie. Nevertheless, we have to avoid lying and use it as the last option.
As said in the above-mentioned book, “Moral behavior is a matter of pure decision and firmness, assisted by Love, Presence and Reintegration techniques. Whenever you find yourself on the verge of immoral conduct, if you feel a temptation to act dishonestly, bring yourself into the state of pure Love. It dissolves dishonest inclinations, anger, resentment, fear, pain and other negative emotions at their roots.”
Another great way to discern whether a situation really demands some sort of a lie is to enter the state of Presence. We have to involve mindfulness.
Presence is a state of being here and now, aware, usually without thoughts. Generally speaking, surroundings that demand lies are disturbing and stressful. In such cases, it’s very hard to stay calm and enter the state of presence. It’s even hard to remember that we need presence. However, for each individual, there are always several characteristic circumstances that are challenging. And they are generally recurrent. Therefore, we can introduce triggers for launching the state of presence to find the best way of behaving and facing the situation.
You can find many pieces of advice on the triggers for presence in “Inner Peace, Outer Success,” as well as in several other blog posts here.
 “Inner Peace, Outer Success” by Nebo D. Lukovich, Reintegration Publishing, 2016
What if we find ourselves in lying?
Don’t force yourself to stop lying in the middle of a conversation. It may seem awkward to your companions and can put you in a more unpleasant situation. Instead, continue with talking, and just become aware of everything you say, your body and your surroundings. Accept the situation wholeheartedly. Try to be present, to be mindful. If you succeed in that, even for several seconds, that will probably be enough to transform your behavior and communication. You will either stop lying or continue with it but in a totally different and more benevolent way. Entering the here and now is the key.
How to deal with our lies from the past?
We should deal with our lying in a serious way only if the lies are repetitive and/or harmful, to us or others. Such lies are telling us something important – we have to deal with our own suppressed and unresolved emotions, identifications and other parts of our personality. Those parts are trying to express themselves, this time through lying.
Keep in mind that such aspects of our being are not bad at all. They are just seeking to protect us with this behavior, although in an unsuitable way (check out the Chain of Goals – a gradual process through which an initially well-intended aspect of our being becomes an ill-behaved part).
As said before, the process of lying to another person is a projection of the conflicts between the inner parts of our personality. So, after each unpleasant dialog in which we behaved inappropriately, whenever we have some spare time we should revive the memory of it and thoroughly deal with our deeds. How to do that?
Evoke the conversation as vividly as possible and use the Dissolving the Temporary I Plus (DTI+) or Gentle Touch of Presence (GTP) techniques on it. Do that as many times as you can.
Even better solution is to apply an extremely efficient Reintegration technique called the “Inner Triangle.” It is a technique that involves reintegration of two opposite parts of your personality, in this case – two parts that represent your and the other person’s standpoints in the conversation. Eventually, those parts will merge and attain their highest state of existence – the unity with Divine. That way, your particular problem or immoral behavior has been uprooted and solved forever.
 More on this technique you can find in “Inner Peace, Outer Success” or “Inner Freedom Techniques” (check out this page: http://www.re-integration.com/book-excerpt-inner-peace-outer-success-re-integration-system.html)
Whenever you can - avoid lying, even at the price of suppressing it temporarily. That’s much better than to commit the immoral deed and regret it forever. Such a suppressed deed you will be able to handle later anyway with various Reintegration procedures or other psychological or spiritual techniques. On the other hand, an expressed big lie or another immoral deed would have produced remorse, resentment, anger and pain in yourself and others, which would be much harder to overcome later.
Nebo D. Lukovich
I had been trying for many years to anchor myself in the present by utilizing many methods originating from various spiritual traditions, but ultimately, to no avail. After a temporary success, there would always emerge a setback, and I would find myself at the beginning of the road again. Or it seemed so. Anyway, it was obvious that my strategy was not well-grounded.
I have learned the lesson the hard way. After many attempts and consequent failures, I have finally concluded that I must take a comprehensive approach: meditation, mindfulness and extensive inner work, concurrently. That was the cornerstone.
Why should we take a wide-ranging approach to our personal transformation?
Many inner structures in our psyche are opposing our life in the Now. Occasionally, due to their apparently cunning behavior, we could even say that they have some sort of consciousness or mind. As I said before, in many periods of my life I temporarily succeeded to anchor myself in the here and now, but it seemed that each time some unexpected event, person or inner issue expelled me out quickly from this blissful state.
Therefore, if we don’t take into account those structures, we will always be getting back to the same old troubles and behaviors. We must face them, not through fighting, but through accepting, transforming and re-integrating them into our personality.
Consequently, to get into a relatively stable state of abiding in the here and now, we should deal with these subconscious structures of our personality. Otherwise, they will continuously be preventing us in our efforts to be mindful.
How to achieve this?
With mindfulness and meditation, we will be transforming ourselves from within, subtly changing our personality and its various parts. Whatever comes into our field of perception, we will reintegrate it through our Pure Consciousness or Presence, which has a divinely transformative effect.
With the reintegration work, we will be changing ourselves outside, by using the various mental and emotional techniques for subconscious parts’ integration into our being.
An excellent method to develop the practice of everyday mindfulness is to set up triggers for it. These triggers will actually be various situations or activities that you are usually engaged in during the day, so every time the condition occurs, it will trigger you to become mindful or fully conscious of yourself and the present moment.
For example, your triggers could be: walking along a familiar path, cleaning teeth, opening or closing the door, sitting down or getting up from a chair, arriving at a specific location or even thinking a particular thought. You can actually make anything a trigger. Repeat these triggers as many times as possible, every time shifting your focus from the trigger to the present moment, until each trigger becomes habitual “launcher” of your mindfulness.
Generally, you should try to be aware (i.e., mindful) of every motion of your body, sensation, texture, sound, taste, and smell. From time to time pause and direct attention to your sense of self. Sustain that state of self-awareness during every activity. You will enjoy every task; you will become light and, in a strange way, even transparent.
Anything that distracts you, or pulls you out of mindfulness, you should accept as such, and not react to it at all (unless you are threatened somehow). Then continue with the activity, being fully conscious of it and yourself simultaneously.
Every conscious moment in the Now will gradually accumulate and make your whole life easier and abate or even prevent challenges.
Mindfulness dissolves your inner conflicts softly and almost imperceptibly. And whenever you are in that state of Presence, you will be at perfect harmony with the world; your body will move lightly and flawlessly; your mind will function impeccably whenever needed, and all your actions will be done in the most effective way.
Without regular meditation sittings, your mindfulness can quickly lose its foundation. So it is very recommended to practice them concurrently.
You have countless varieties of meditation at your disposal. You can choose one of the modern types of “pure awareness” or “body awareness” meditations, for example like those presented by Eckhart Tolle. But, you can also stick to traditional approaches, like many Buddhist or Yoga meditations; some of them can indeed be suitable for you. Keep in mind, though, that some of these traditional methods require the practitioner to stick with all other practices within that particular system.
One example of “pure awareness” meditation technique is the following:
First, you relax, using one of the many relaxation techniques. Then ask yourself: “What will be my next thought?” Then just wait for the next thought, being curious and alert. This will easily bring you into Pure consciousness, a state of Presence. Whenever something comes into your mind and disturbs your Presence, accept it wholeheartedly and go back to your question which will return you to the Presence. After some practice, you will be able to enter the state of Pure consciousness without using any questions. The goal is merely to stay in this thoughtless state as long as possible.
It is essential to discipline yourself and have at least one, 15-minute meditation session every day. However, I would recommend creating an everyday habit of meditating twice a day, at least 15 minutes in the morning and the same duration in the evening. These sitting sessions should be scheduled for the same periods of the day, if possible.
Meditation will release huge “amounts” of inner obstacles to any of your life goals, and will gradually erase all your negative tendencies, including laziness. What’s more important, the steady meditation practice will give you extra love, health, strength, calmness, creativity, and smoothness in your life.
Reintegration of inner parts
If we really intend to achieve permanent results in our personal transformation, the work on our subconscious structures must be comprehensive and continual, always accompanied with meditation and mindfulness.
There are countless approaches to this subject also. The mainstream psychology is one of them. It is scientifically approved and confirmed, and consequently pretty safe. But it’s also very slow. On the other hand, there are many alternative methodologies, which could be much more efficient and faster but burdened with higher risk. It’s up to you to choose.
However, I will present you here one of these alternative approaches to personal transformation, the Reintegration System, which is a new methodology rooted in psychology and holographic model of reality, which has proven to many people as being systematic, yet the extremely effective method of human development.
Here is the list of our personality’s aspects that we should deal with in accordance with the Reintegration System’s methodology:
These aspects are parts of our personality that merely need the most of our attention in our inner work. You may find that some of these parts are actually sub-sets of other, more general ones. We could classify, for example, our desires, fears, and guilt under the umbrella of ‘emotions’, or we might instead assume that emotions are only part of traumatic memories; beliefs can be habitual thoughts backed by emotions, etc. Each could be right or wrong, depending on your point of view, but for our purposes they are listed according to practical reasons.
So, what to do with all these elements of personality? In short, we should always face them, accept them wholeheartedly, and finally, transform and reintegrate them entirely into our being, using an appropriate technique. We should never fight them! All these aspects have deeply hidden genuinely positive intentions for us, but those intentions have been gradually distorted into apparently negative behavior during extended periods of time, because of numerous misconceptions, limited perception, and challenging environment.
A lot more on this you can find at www.re-integration.com, or in “Inner Peace, Outer Success” and other Reintegration books.
Additional note on inner work
For some people, though, this three-fold work is not necessary for achieving the lasting bliss. Indeed, some relatively rare individuals have mysterious inherent abilities and pre-conditions for attaining the permanent happiness or Enlightenment with little or no effort at all. They have done most of their inner work probably in other incarnations.
However, we must not rely on such hopes. The determined, persistent, yet profoundly joyful effort, is definitely recommended as our final choice.
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