Total Acceptance is such a powerful practice that its regular utilization in everyday life can profoundly and irreversibly transform our individual reality.
What is Total Acceptance? (I’m writing these words in capital letters to point to the specific meaning of this term.) It’s a state of the complete openness to any experience. It means to fully embrace all arising impressions, without a slightest inner resistance. Here, the word “Total” is maybe even redundant, but I have added it just to emphasize the absence of any resistance. We can say that Total Acceptance is Pure Awareness and, at the same time, the state of Not-Knowing, which signifies an absolute openness to the Unknown. It is a temporary absence of mind and its habitual thoughts. In other words, it is the state of Presence. However, Total Acceptance is not a dry, cold indifference. Somehow, it’s filled with deep love, as it requires not only the stillness of the mind but also the openness of the Heart. Here is an excellent quote from A Practical Guide to Acceptance and Commitment Therapy by Steven C. Hayes and Kirk D. Strosahl: “Acceptance should not be confused with tolerance or resignation, both of which are passive and fatalistic. Acceptance involves taking a stance of non-judgmental awareness and actively embracing the experience of thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations as they occur. Total Acceptance is not a dry, cold indifference. Somehow, it’s filled with deep love, as it requires not only the stillness of the mind but also the openness of the Heart.
Another important aspect of acceptance is the strong inclination to cope with all experiences, to face everything, either pleasant or unpleasant: “Acceptance refers to an attitude of nonjudging or openness about experience, and refraining from attempts to avoid or escape it.” - Fabrizio Didonna, Clinical Handbook of Mindfulness
Everything we resist, persists. Even more, it’ll grow up over time. Therefore, the remedy for any unpleasant state or content of the mind is to accept it completely. Whenever we entirely and honestly accept any thought, emotion or sensation, we become free of it. It will not bother us anymore. It will disappear from our individual universe, as we have learned that lesson. Total Acceptance has a transformative power virtually in every field of our existence – spiritual, mental, emotional and even our physical life. For example, its strength is fully harnessed in one of the most effective methods for overcoming physical pain, “Accepting and Dwelling in Pain,” described in this article: 5 Powerful Pain Relief Techniques. The bottom line is: whatever you Totally Accept, it disappears from your field of consciousness. You become free from it. What’s also important is that this practice will not take you into passivity and non-action. On the contrary, the fruit of a regular practice of Total Acceptance will be your perfect action, whenever needed, just at a right moment. It will also yield a great deal of creativity. Nevertheless, the balance between action and non-action will be naturally achieved. Whatever you Totally Accept, it disappears from your field of consciousness. You become free from it. 
Could It Be Dangerous?
When we Totally Accept something, we have embraced it wholeheartedly. But there is a troubling question that naturally arises: Is it dangerous to embrace negative, or harmful things? Can accepting an aggressive person’s behavior, ugly gossips or our friend’s problems jeopardize our security? It can not. If it does, that only means we haven’t accepted it completely. By accepting the negativity, we are removing the negative burden on our mind and heart which has been attracting those circumstances. Moreover, the very fact that our heart is open and our being is filled with peace and love, deeply ennobles and transforms everything we do and anything we embrace. That indeed makes us safe and leaves us unharmed. The very fact that our heart is open and our being is filled with peace and love, deeply ennobles and transforms everything we do and anything we embrace. That indeed makes us safe and leaves us unharmed.
Yes, for the beginning, you can accept apparently evil, harmful or dangerous things and situations with your mind only, without opening your heart. You can say something like “OK, that’s it, I don’t care.” That means you can simply become indifferent and neutral toward the experience. No repulsion, and no attraction. No warmness, no embracing, no “risk.” It is an entirely disinterested position which blocks the experience to reoccur in your personal reality. But that’s only temporary. Without opening your heart completely, you cannot fully face the experience. Therefore, it may come back to you one day.
Remember, your Essence, or True Self, cannot be hurt or endangered. Ever. Without opening your heart completely, you cannot fully face the experience. Therefore, it may come back to you one day.
Ultimately, you will have to open both your mind and heart to all experiences. It’s similar to the state of Not-Knowing – total openness to the Unknown is also a genuinely transformative attitude.
If you are still concerned that Total Acceptance of negativities could open your inner door to those things to happen to you, the solution is to Totally Accept its opposite, too. But first accept that very concern, your fear of any negative reperccusions. Then accept the negative thing itself. Finally, accept its opposite – a normal state, or a wanted, positive thing. If you cannot accept any of these, you might be dealing with a complex subconscious structure. Those structures should be thoroughly reflected and processed with some of the main Reintegration techniques (preferably the Inner Triangle), or with some other psychological or spiritual method. Finally, with both polarities Totally Accepted, while being free from the ingrained fear, we’ll be able to act from Presence genuinely. 
How to Totally Accept
The skill of Total Acceptance should be learned progressively. It is always easy to accept something you like, or you are being neutral to, but accepting unpleasant or painful experiences is a completely different story. Therefore, we should start learning acceptance on neutral things first (because you have no intimate relationship with them), then on positive ones (although you have a positive relation toward them, it is still a kind of attachment), and lastly on the negatives. Here is an exercise for learning this skill thoroughly:
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Author:Martin Morrison  Who is the real boss in your mind? Almost since the day you were born, you have been the victim of unconscious programming from internal and external processes. It is funny how those with the strongest minds and most forceful personalities will insist that hypnosis doesn’t work on them, that they are not influenced by others and that they are masters of their own world. Sadly, this is simply not true. It is a fiction. We come into the world like a boxed computer; there’s an operating system in place but the software is yet to come. Language, culture, religion, attitudes and experiences all follow. The external programming that takes place is easy to see - parents, peers, family, teachers, religious representatives, media, art, dramas...the list, quite literally, is endless. Voices from within The internal programming is slightly more subtle and yet even more powerful. This is where we collaborate with our own growth...or downfall. Every experience is compared and contrasted with past experiences and measured against hopes, dreams and expectations. All these concepts are interdependent which means the sense of self and its level of contentment is governed by a boatload of phenomena that are mainly unconscious. Put simply, the unconscious chatter that goes on in our minds is also affecting our sense of who we are, the world we live in and our place within it. Awakening: the first step Realising that we have an internal world of barely audible mental chatter, thoughts, reflections, memories, feelings and emotions that are governing how we engage with people, situations and our environment is the first step to liberating ourselves from our programming. But that is a scary thought. That means accepting that our religion isn’t the absolute truth, that our customs and beliefs have been inherited. What? How dare he say this! I am a [insert faith denomination here] because I genuinely believe it to be true and I choose it every day. Sorry. That is simply not true. I am not dismissing religion and culture and I mean no offence to those who value tradition. These are positive software packages that have been installed into our operating systems, but software packages nevertheless. Censored If you don’t accept the programming is happening, if you don’t acknowledge that many aspects of your attitude and approach to life have been determined by birth because of the influences you have been exposed to, then there will be large parts of your psychological landscape that you have no hope of unravelling. Your mind will read like a classified government document with large swathes of text and images blacked out.   I’ve been programmed: now what? Just like the software on your phone, mental programming can be updated or overwritten. Even the entire operating system can be changed. The operating system is a different kettle of fish and not the focus of this article however, for clarity, you can think of it as the physical status of the person - how their brains are hardwired, physical health etc. If you suffer a stroke, you may have to start again from scratch with an entirely different operating system than you had before. Let’s look at the programming process and how we can take control of it. There are a number of ways that we can consciously program our minds. Some or all of these will be familiar to you but you may not have thought of them as programming techniques. These are:
Prayer as a mental programming technique Let’s look at the Christian’s “Lord’s Prayer” or “Our Father” as an example. This is just an example and I am not singling out Christians from any other religion. The prayer reads like this: “Our father who art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name, Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done, On Earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day, our daily bread And forgive us our trespasses, As we forgive those who trespass against us, And lead us not into temptation, But deliver us from evil. Amen” When a Christian recites this prayer, they believe they are speaking directly to the almighty, one God, that God will hear this prayer from them personally and that God can choose to respond to it. Regardless of whether what they believe is true or not, while they believe it to be true (faith can move mountains), there is a mechanism that will bring about internal peace and contentment - and better outcomes for the person in their everyday life. When we break the prayer down, we see that it contains several principles that are vital to growth and mental health:
When a person makes a conscious choice to be mindful of these things in their day-to-day life, the results can be transformative. In my mind, it is no coincidence that practitioners of the faith feel as though they are experiencing a genuine relationship with the living Christ and/or with God. These principles allow us to engage with reality more effectively. The result, a much more charismatic person. Note the root of the word, “charisma” - Krishna and Christ both share that root. We see the word in Russian as well - “Xarasho” (pronounced Ch-ah-rosh-oh where “ch” sounds similar to the “ch” in the Scottish “loch”). This is not intended to be a religious post however, for those that feel I am chipping away at their faith, let me reframe it in a different way. My assertion that prayer is a form of mental programming does not have to mean there is no God but it does require a different way of thinking about God. Some believe that we are all part of the one living God, sharing a universal consciousness. By the same token, by tuning into our “bigger mind”, we have the power to completely reset our software. Arguably, most people identify with their software, their ego identity, which means they spend their lives experiencing an identity crisis as one version of self after another is corrupted, becomes obsolete or ineffective, or completely collapses (mental illness, neurosis, breakdown). The problem with prayer If you have ever met a devoutly religious person who has encountered a crisis in their faith, there lies the problem. They have to keep the faith. Faith really does move mountains. If the faith is not there, the conviction is not there in the prayers. They become ineffective. Negative thinking sets in. This affects how the person interacts with their world and that behaviour affects their outcomes. It is a vicious circle. Prayer works well until we lose our most precious loved ones or some other dreadful event takes place. That said, even when people lose faith or experience doubt, prayer still has some effect. Evidence has suggested that when we say something with our physical or internal voice, the subconscious believes it - even if our conscious self doesn’t. What about hypnosis? Hypnosis is a collaborative game played by two or more people. The person to be hypnotised agrees to allow the hypnotist access to their minds. The hypnotist acts a facilitator really to help the subject reframe their thinking but it is a collaboration. The hypnotist cannot make the other person do anything that person would not want to do. Does that mean the person has to give permission to be hypnotised? We do not have to give permission to be hypnotised. We do not even need to believe that hypnosis is possible. If a hypnotist wanted to get you to run around the street naked, this is not likely to happen. You would see them coming from a mile away and you would resist the attempts to be programmed. The gate would be closed. Hypnosis is happening all around us One only has to look at how drastically fashion trends can change or other ways that people allow themselves to be influenced by advertising, celebrity culture or slick copywriting to see how much our mindsets are subtly being worked on by external forces. When we agree to be hypnotised and we cooperate with the hypnotist’s instructions, it is possible for us to enter a very deep trance-like state, where ideas can be placed using affirmations, storytelling and visualisation techniques. The effect can be intense and powerful. What’s the problem with hypnosis? Imagine the least tech-savvy person in the office. They spend all day on a computer, opening window after window without ever shutting one down, never clearing their temporary internet files or their emails. Every few months, they hit a critical point when their computers can’t function due to a shortage of working memory (for example). So they give a call to the IT person. The IT person logs on to their machine remotely and identifies the problem or fixes it. The problem is solved but it is temporary. The hypnotist gives you fish but doesn’t show you how to fish The IT person may give a lecture on best practice but if it doesn’t sink in or is not understood, they are given another call three months later. So it is with hypnosis. When we agree to be hypnotised, we allow the hypnotist to help us fix a particular problem - smoking, chocolate addiction, aversion to exercise - but we are not necessarily any wiser in terms of how our own mind works. What is auto-hypnosis or self-talk? Once you understand the mechanisms at work, you can hypnotise yourself. Even by saying positive things to yourself on the way to a date (“I look great. They will love me.”), the mindset can be affected. This is why it is so important to be mindful of the words that come out of our mouths and the thoughts that we allow ourselves to dwell on. Those who study a little more can learn how to take themselves into a deeper trance or they use music to achieve the same objective. Then they will repeat carefully crafted affirmations or listen to a well-written visualisation script, to reset their thinking. What’s not to love here? Nothing it all. It is all good. However, just like hypnosis, what we are doing is going in and fixing specific issues that we have identified. We are not gaining a greater understanding of our mind. There are many blind spots. Meditation as a route to mental programming Let me first of all start by spelling out what I mean by meditation and differentiating it from mindfulness. This is a subtle, yet important point. If we choose to focus all our attention on this moment, every physical sensation, every aspect of our perception etc., then that is mindfulness and yes, it is meditation as well. Meditation, in the strictest sense, is not something that is done. It is how other things are done! Mindfulness will only go so far in helping us grow because if I am being mindful while I eat my favourite food or mindful while I practise tai chi, the focus is on the activity of eating or the feeling of movement through the tai chi forms. That is great but won’t necessarily deliver increased self-knowledge, wisdom or the meaning of life. If I decide to practise mindfulness while I am lying down or sitting still in a quiet place, as my awareness “realises” that there is nothing to see in the outside world, it has to focus its attention inwards - to the mind, to the internal world. This is what I mean by meditation.  Discovering the internal world When we meditate, we become much more aware of just how much mental chatter is going in within our skulls. It is mind-blowing! Even the most experienced practitioners will witness all kinds of garbage going on between their ears. So when someone says, “I can’t meditate. I can’t get my mind to become quiet.”, they are misunderstanding what the process is. If the mind becomes quiet, if the pond becomes still, if the sky becomes cloudless and blue, fantastic. That’s a great place to be BUT it is not the aim. Witnessing chaos is just as valuable.  If the mind becomes quiet, if the pond becomes still, if the sky becomes cloudless and blue, fantastic. That’s a great place to be BUT it is not the aim. Witnessing chaos is just as valuable. Thoughts and feelings are like ghosts in the mind What is important is realising that all that activity (and more) is going on behind the scenes and to understand that you are separate from it. We are not our thoughts. We are not our emotions. We are not our actions. We are the witness. That is an important step in understanding and reprogramming the mind. By becoming more familiar with what is going on in our minds, it means that when we are living our lives mindfully we can be AS aware of what is going on internally as we are of the external physical world. Meditation means “full administrative access” Unlike the use of a hypnotist or the practice of auto-hypnosis, meditation and mindfulness allow for greater administrative access of the operating system. Practitioners become more effective at identifying which programs are useful and working for them and which ones are not. Meditation empowers us to drop programming or conditioning that is counter-productive to our personal growth and effectiveness in the world. We become the IT person. We can see issues and fix them. We have the big picture.  Meditation empowers us to drop programming or conditioning that is counter-productive to our personal growth and effectiveness in the world.
In a normal, “waking” state, we are almost always completely immersed in whatever we are doing at the moment. We might even say that we are fully absorbed in here and now.
However, If the point of mindfulness is to be here and now, doesn’t that mean that we are meditating every time we are completely immersed in some activity? Whenever we exercise, play football, listen to music, watch TV, talk with our friend, think, or even fight – we are fully in the present moment, right? The tricky question Thinking this way, can we say that activities which typically consume our attention are also a sort of meditation? Well, no. We are lost in such activities. Usually, we are totally absorbed in playing the game, listening to music, exercising, whatever…and we have become that activity. Our consciousness is focused completely on it. Moreover, the answer to the previous question also depends on how we define meditation. Let’s use the broader meaning of meditation, that includes mindfulness. It means that we are meditating here and now, whatever we are doing, without any redundant contents of mind, aware of our surroundings and ourselves. When thoughts or emotions arise, we simply become aware of them, let them go and return to the Now. Can we say that activities which typically consume our attention are also a sort of meditation?
To live in the Now means to live consciously, to fully experience ourselves and our surroundings without redundant thoughts and distractions.
One could say that deep sleep is also a thoughtless state. That’s true, but it cannot be regarded as the living in the Now because it is not a conscious state. One could also say that while we are immersed in unnecessary thinking, we are in the Now too because we are experiencing those thoughts in the present moment. But that is also not a fully conscious state, as we are identified with those thoughts, so it’s not really being present in the Now. Author: Jane Bolto With a background in Marketing, Jane Bolto currently works as a Content Specialist at Nybizdb.com. Always willing to share her passion for new marketing strategies.  Finding balance in life is incredibly important. One of the secrets to finding happiness is capturing that balance, so that everything in life is steady and even. You should never be too stressed, too worried, too angry, too hurt. These things need to be addressed before you can find happiness. Here’s how a meditation retreat helped me to find that balance, and to understand how it makes a real difference to life.  Physical Balancing:
The first thing that I learned was that physical balance is an important foundation. When you sit in your meditation pose, you should always find a comfortable balance. You should sit neither hunched forward, nor leaning back. You should not tilt to one side or the other. When you take your seat, gently rock your body around until you find that exact middle point. You will feel the tension flowing out of your body as you find your centre. If you cannot get your physical balance right, it is very difficult to let go of physical concerns and detach your mind. If you can’t do that, then mental balance is nearly impossible. AuthorNebo D. Lukovich  There are countless relaxation techniques that can be found on the Internet. I would like to present you here a procedure which is a mixture of well-known step-by-step relaxation methods and one of the basic Reintegration System's techniques called “Dissolving the Temporary I.” We will call this relaxation procedure the “Relax to Reintegrate” technique (RtR). It is not much time-consuming, and is suitable for many purposes, whether we want to get rid of stress or to prepare ourselves for a meditation or some more complex inner work. I have to emphasize that this method is not a mere relaxation process. It is a kind of deep meditation on itself. It releases huge amounts of tension, stress and anxiety. Moreover, through this technique, we will often be removing many layers of various inner obstacles, such as traumatic memories, suppressed emotions, limiting beliefs, etc. Any tension in our body is actually caused by some of these inner hindrances, and by releasing it we are re-integrating those particular causes, directly or indirectly.  Here is the Relax to Reintegrate technique:
By doing this way, any tension will be gone quickly and completely. If any emotion or other content of the mind appears, it simply means that the tension was caused by it and now it’s released, ready to be re-integrated into the wholeness of your being. Do not miss this chance. Do the DTI immediately on every mind content which arises. In this way, the simple relaxation turns out to be a deeply transformative meditation. Of course, you will need to learn the DTI technique and make it habitual. But once it becomes a routine, you will be able to do the RtR technique anywhere. You can RtR while you are waiting in a queue, when you are lying in bed, or while sitting, whenever you have some free time. You will only have to adjust slightly the procedure to the particular circumstances. If done regularly, it will deeply transform your life. AuthorNebo D. Lukovich  Mindfulness simply means to consciously live in the present moment. You have to do any activity fully conscious of yourself and of the activity itself. Although many people don’t consider it as strictly spiritual, mindfulness indeed is a purely divine practice. It leads you to your True nature, while dissolving your inner conflicts softly and almost imperceptibly. Moreover, every conscious moment in the Now will gradually accumulate and make your whole life easier. It will abate or even prevent challenges. When mindfulness becomes your intrinsic way of living, you will enjoy every task, you will become light and, in a strange way, even transparent. You will start sensing some inexplicable joy and deep inner peace. You will feel love more and more, both to yourself and people around you. Mindfulness dissolves your inner conflicts softly and almost imperceptibly. Pure consciousness in everyday life will enable you to do any task perfectly. All your relationships will gradually improve in various subtle ways. You will be at perfect harmony with the world; your body will move lightly and flawlessly; your mind will function impeccably whenever needed, and all your actions will be done in the most effective way. Thus, if you drop a thing or stumble upon something unexpectedly, it is a clear message from your divine core: awaken, be present, feel your Heart! However, without regular meditation sittings, your mindfulness can easily lose its foundation. Therefore, it is highly recommended to practice them concurrently. You have countless varieties of meditation at your disposal. You can choose one of the modern types of “pure awareness” or “body awareness” meditations, for example like those presented by Eckhart Tolle. But, you can also stick to traditional approaches, like numerous Buddhist or Yoga meditations. You could also practice the loving-kindness meditation, which is, in my opinion, very important. Keep in mind, though, that some of these traditional methods require the practitioner to stick with all other practices within that particular system. It is essential to discipline yourself and have at least one, 15-minute meditation session every day. However, I would recommend to create an everyday habit of meditating twice a day, at least 15 minutes in the morning and the same duration in the evening. These sitting sessions should be scheduled to the same periods of the day, if possible. Meditation will release huge “amounts” of inner obstacles to any of your life goals, and will gradually erase all your negative tendencies, including laziness. What’s more important, the steady meditation practice will give you additional love, health, strength, calmness, creativity and smoothness in your life. AuthorNebo D. Lukovich  I had been trying for many years to anchor myself in the present by utilizing many methods originating from various spiritual traditions, but ultimately, to no avail. After a temporary success, there would always emerge a setback and I would find myself at the beginning of the road again. Or it seemed so. Anyway, it was obvious that my strategy was not well-grounded.
I have learned the lesson the hard way. After many attempts and consequent failures, I have finally concluded that I must take a comprehensive approach: meditation, mindfulness and comprehensive inner work, concurrently. That was the corner stone. Why should we take a wide-ranging approach for our personal transformation? There are many inner structures in our psyche that are opposing our life in the Now. Occasionally, due to their apparently cunning behavior, we could even say that they have some sort of consciousness or mind. As I said before, in many periods of my life I temporarily succeeded to anchor myself in the here and now, but it seemed that each time some unexpected event, person or inner issue expelled me out quickly from this blissful state. Therefore, if we don’t take into account those structures, we will be always getting back to the same old troubles and behaviors. We must face them, not through fighting, but through accepting, transforming and re-integrating them into our personality. Consequently, in order to get into a relatively stable state of abiding in the here and now, we should deal with these subconscious structures of our personality. Otherwise, they will be constantly preventing us in our efforts to be mindful. How to achieve this?
With mindfulness and meditation, we will be transforming ourselves from within, subtly transforming our personality and its various parts. Whatever comes into our field of perception, we will reintegrate it through our Pure Consciousness or Presence, which has divinely transformative effect. With the reintegration work, we will be changing ourselves outside, by using various mind and emotional techniques for subconscious parts’ integration into our being. Mindfulness A great method to develop the practice of everyday mindfulness is to set up triggers for it. These triggers will actually be various situations or activities that you are usually engaged in during the day, so every time the situation occurs it will trigger you to become mindful or fully conscious of yourself and the present moment. For example, your triggers could be: walking along a well-known path, cleaning teeth, opening or closing the door, sitting down or getting up from a chair, arriving at a specific location or even thinking a particular thought. You can actually make anything a trigger. Repeat these triggers as many times as possible, every time shifting your focus from the trigger to the present moment, until each trigger becomes habitual “launcher” of your mindfulness. Generally, you should try to be aware (i.e. mindful) of every motion of your body, sensation, texture, sound, taste and smell. From time to time pause and direct attention to your sense of self. Sustain that state of self-awareness during every activity. You will enjoy every task, you will become light and, in a strange way, even transparent. Anything that distracts you, or pulls you out of mindfulness, you should accept as such, and not react to it at all (unless you are threatened somehow). Then continue with the activity, being fully conscious of it and of yourself simultaneously. Every conscious moment in the Now will gradually accumulate and make your whole life easier and abate or even prevent challenges. Mindfulness dissolves your inner conflicts softly and almost imperceptibly. And whenever you are in that state of Presence, you will be at perfect harmony with the world; your body will move lightly and flawlessly; your mind will function impeccably whenever needed, and all your actions will be done in the most effective way. Meditation Without regular meditation sittings, your mindfulness can easily lose its foundation. So it is very recommended to practice them concurrently. You have countless varieties of meditation at your disposal. You can choose one of the modern types of “pure awareness” or “body awareness” meditations, for example like those presented by Eckhart Tolle. But, you can also stick to traditional approaches, like numerous Buddhist or Yoga meditations; some of them can certainly be suitable to you. Keep in mind, though, that some of these traditional methods require the practitioner to stick with all other practices within that particular system. One example of “pure awareness” meditation technique is the following: First you relax, using one of the many relaxation techniques. Then you just ask yourself: “What will be my next thought?” Then just wait for the next thought, being curious and alert. This will easily bring you into Pure consciousness, a state of Presence. Whenever something comes into your mind and disturbs your Presence, you just accept it wholeheartedly and go back to your question which will return you to the Presence. After some practice, you will be able to enter the state of Pure consciousness without using any questions. The goal is simply to stay in this thoughtless state as long as possible. It is essential to discipline yourself and have at least one, 15-minute meditation session every day. However, I would recommend to create an everyday habit of meditating twice a day, at least 15 minutes in the morning and the same duration in the evening. These sitting sessions should be scheduled to the same periods of the day, if possible. Meditation will release huge “amounts” of inner obstacles to any of your life goals, and will gradually erase all your negative tendencies, including laziness. What’s more important, the steady meditation practice will give you additional love, health, strength, calmness, creativity and smoothness in your life. Reintegration of inner parts If we really intend to achieve permanent results in our personal transformation, the work on our subconscious structures must be comprehensive and continual, always accompanied with meditation and mindfulness. There are countless approaches to this subject also. The mainstream psychology is one of them. It is scientifically approved and confirmed, and consequently pretty safe. But it’s also very slow. On the other hand, there are many alternative methodologies, which could be much more efficient and faster, but burdened with greater risk. It’s up to you to choose. However, I will present you here one of these alternative approaches to personal transformation, the Reintegration System, which is a new methodology rooted in psychology and holographic model of reality, which has proven to me and many other people as being a systematic, yet extremely effective method of human development. Here is the list of our personality’s aspects that we should deal with in accordance with the Reintegration System’s methodology:
These aspects are parts of our personality that simply need the most of our attention in our inner work. You may find that some of these parts are actually sub-sets of other, more general ones. We could classify, for example, our desires, fears and guilt under the umbrella of ‘emotions’, or we might instead assume that emotions are only part of traumatic memories; beliefs can be habitual thoughts backed by emotions, etc. Each could be right or wrong, depending on your point of view, but for our purposes they are listed according to practical reasons. So, what to do with all these elements of personality? In short, we should always face them, accept them wholeheartedly, and finally, transform and reintegrate them completely into our being, using an appropriate technique. We should never fight them! All these aspects have deeply hidden genuinely positive intentions for us, but those intentions have been gradually distorted into apparently negative behavior during long periods of time, because of numerous misconceptions, limited perception and challenging environment. A lot more on this you can find at www.re-integration.com, or in the book “Inner Peace, Outer Success.” Additional note on inner work For some people, though, this three-fold work is not necessary for achieving the lasting bliss. Indeed, there are relatively rare individuals who have mysterious inherent abilities and pre-conditions for attaining the permanent happiness or Enlightenment with little or no effort at all. They have done most of their inner work probably in other incarnations. However, we must not rely on such hopes. Determined, persistent, yet deeply joyful effort, is definitely recommended as our final choice. AuthorJ. L. McGalliard
You make decisions all the time. Usually, they come naturally to you and without even really thinking. Yet, you're probably plagued by big decisions that seem to have big consequences.
Why do some decisions seem to be a bigger deal than others? You tell yourself that it's the impact of those choices that really creates a dividing line between big ones and small ones. When you really examine this, is it true? What if I told you that it isn't the impact, but rather YOUR judgments? Let's look at an example of what appears to be a small decision and a big decision. A "small" decision When you wake up in the morning and turn on the coffee maker, you've decided that you will drink coffee. What are the consequences of making this decision? You might feel a sense of comfort when you drink your coffee. You may also feel energized and ready to tackle your day. You will also have a dirty dish you'll have to clean later. What about the coffee grinds? You'll have to throw those out too. Then there's the effort and work of preparing the filter and waiting for the coffee to brew. A "big" decision Your boss just demoted you and now you're doing a job that you don't like, for less money and more time. You could quit. You could start looking for other jobs. You could talk to your boss and see if you can get promoted. There are consequences for each choice. Yet, this feels much "bigger" than the coffee scenario above, doesn't it? It's all about the judgments Let’s look at that coffee example from a different perspective. If every time you emptied the coffee grinds into the trashcan, you told yourself, "I HATE coffee grinds. I hate the way they smell and the way they look. I hate coffee grinds so much." It would not take very long for you to probably decide to never make coffee again. You'd probably just go buy coffee every morning instead of worrying about how "gross" coffee grinds are. This would definitely have an impact on your finances. If you added it up, you'd spend nearly $70 a month on coffee alone if you didn't make it at your house. That may not be a lot of money to you, depending on your financial situation, but it is certainly an impact. Take a minute to follow the logic. In the first scenario, making the decision to make coffee was easy and didn't really have a broad impact. In the replay of the scenario, where negative self-talk was added, the impact became broader and deeper. Nothing else changed! The scenario was exactly the same except YOUR perspective and how YOU communicated to yourself. By understanding this logic, you can start to change your self-talk and make decisions much easier to make. When you realize that YOU are responsible for the judgments you place on things, you are then in control of those judgments. Maintaining awareness and control over your judgments leads to easy decision making. A meditation for decision-making Next time you're faced with a decision that seems really "big," try this meditation. It may help to record yourself reading this meditation out loud so that you can follow it with your eyes closed. Sit in a comfortable position with your eyes closed. You can lie down, but make sure you're not going to fall asleep. Then, focus on your breath. Just feel the rhythm of yourself breathing in and out. Once you become familiar with the rhythm, try to slow it down. Follow your natural rhythm, but try to control and maintain it. Once you feel comfortable with your breath, shift your focus to your heart. Listen and see if you can hear the beats. Where do you feel your pulse? Take a moment to find the beat of your heart and just listen to it. Now that you've become familiar with your breath and your heart, it’s time to focus on your muscles. Are you holding tension anywhere in your body? Scan your body from head to toe and see if you notice any tension spots. Take a breath in and then breathe out the tension. Let it melt away. The next step is to listen to what your body is telling you. Think of the big decision you have to make. Break it down into two choices. Take one of the choices and focus on it. Really think about all the potential consequences. As your mind spins with potentials, listen to your body. Is your heart beating faster? Are your muscles tensing up at certain consequences? Make a mental note of what you're feeling as the thoughts pass by. Do this again with the other choice. Pay attention to your body and how it responds to different thoughts. Now, when you're ready, scan your muscles and release tension. Feel your heart and listen to it for a moment. Feel the rhythm of your breath and slow it. Then open your eyes. Immediately record your observations. Write them down. What thoughts created reactions? What were those reactions? When you see that certain thoughts created reactions, these are the places where you have placed judgment. These are the aspects of your life that you have deemed to be very important. You have judged them to be so. Finally, evaluate these judgments. Why do you feel like these things are so important? Are they as dire as you think they are? Really take the time to step back and attempt to be objective. You may just find that your judgments are coming from a place of fear and not a place of love. What if you approached these subjects with compassion and love for yourself and others? Would it change the judgment? Would it make it less intense? Journal your thoughts and see what happens. You'll likely find that your decisions are much easier to make once you're aware of the judgments you've placed on them. |
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