One of the most difficult obstacles to true forgiveness is our conscious or subconscious intention to change the people who have been hurting us.
 
This is wrong! It is not up to us to change anyone. We must change ourselves instead. Only in this way can we truly influence others.
 
Let's say you have just forgiven your brother for hurting you. At least you think you have forgiven him. Alas, he hurts you again tomorrow in the same way and you get angry once more. Obviously, you have not forgiven him, otherwise, you wouldn't have become triggered by his behavior again. 
 
What was wrong with your forgiveness?
 
We all want to change others, more or less. So, yes, we forgive them, but only for a particular action under certain circumstances. For this time only. But what about the future?
 
Although we seemingly forgave them, subconsciously we expected them to change. We thought they are the one who should have changed, not us.
 
They won't. Actually, they will, but at their own pace and in their own way, but it's not up to us.
 
We must presume that the person is going to endlessly and perpetually cause us pain and forgive them despite that! 
 
Of course, easier said than done. Nevertheless, try this: imagine that the person you want to forgive will be hurting you endlessly. Assume that they are so stubborn that they are never going to change their behavior; that they will never transform into a better version of themselves. Imagine clearly that they will try to hurt you tomorrow even more. Suppose that he or she is unable to improve in any way. On the contrary, they may only become worse and worse and there's no end to this. ​

Now, forgive them as such! Can you do that? Do you really want to get rid of this burden, to get your life force back?
 
Forgive this person as though they are going to worsen their behavior towards you, increasingly, forever. Do you possess such capacity, such depth of your character? If you do, congratulations – that's true forgiveness. If you don't – never mind. Do not judge yourself, we are all human beings. But the same problem will reappear.
 
So, try again.
 
Know that all your bad circumstances, all the people around you who are making you suffer, are all there for the purpose of your growth. From every such experience, you may extract some unique and truly valuable life lessons.
 
Your worst enemies or the most stubborn and annoying friends are in fact your greatest teachers! Perhaps they agreed with you before this lifetime to make such a great sacrifice for you, that now you even consider them enemies or bad people, all with the goal of enabling you to learn the hardest life lesson - to truly forgive. Is there any greater sacrifice than that?
 
For example, if your friend constantly gets into the same troubles while stubbornly and bluntly refusing your advice, and it's all annoying to you, stop trying to change her. Change yourself instead. Find within your own being the very trait that annoys you the most in her behavior. Although not being aware of that, she is actually teaching you, she is pointing to the important aspect of your personality you have to deal with now.
 
And forgive her, truly and completely, with all your heart. Imagine that she will never, never change, that she is going to worsen instead and to annoy you for the rest of this life and…forgive her despite that!
 
For the very act of forgiveness, to learn how to do it, you may use various techniques or approaches described in another article. But remember, only when you succeed in this kind of “eternal forgiveness,” have you truly let go, you are free. 
 
Don't forget that forgiveness is a process. You will probably have to forgive many aspects of the other person's unwanted behavior, as though they are all permanent.
 
The same stands for any situation, circumstance, or thing in your life that brings you suffering. Accept it, forgive it totally, even though it is presumably going to persist as such eternally! If you are able to do this, you have truly learned forgiveness. ​

“To err is human; to forgive, divine.” – From the poem An Essay on Criticism, by Alexander Pope

The importance of forgiveness is immense. Whenever we are stuck in the mud of anger, resentment, blame, or guilt, we deeply suffer, as well as people around us. Although these feelings are not negative per se, they are conveyors of some vital messages to our conscious being. If neglected, they will severely undermine our health and overall well-being.

To forgive means to release anger and resentment, lastingly.
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So, together with love, forgiveness is the ultimate healing tool on Earth. It liberates us directly from these unpleasant feelings, while, indirectly, it heals many diseases caused by them.

Also, it does not involve excusing or condoning the person’s actions. Forgiveness does not deny crime, atrocity, or injustice. However, it clears up our hearts and minds, making the path to justice completely smooth. It brings relief from pain and injury.

Forgiveness does not necessarily lead to reconciliation, nor we have to feel obliged to reconcile with the person we are forgiving. Nevertheless, if we truly forgive the person, some sort of reconciliation with them is likely to spontaneously occur, sooner or later.
​
True forgiveness cannot be achieved from a lofty, righteous position. This implies feeling superior upon the other person, which could easily turn into disdain. And that would be very dangerous for our spiritual growth.

How to forgive?

Of course, to us ordinary mortals, forgiveness is not easy at all. The feelings that we intend to release are usually deeply rooted and most often for a long time present in our psyche. Anyway, if we want to continue with our personal development and spiritual growth, we must reintegrate these feelings with the rest of our being. Therefore, forgiveness should be done step-by-step, thoroughly, with true dedication and honesty.

​Conspiracies do exist. There are many governmental or non-governmental entities which jobs are tightly related to hidden activities. Secret agencies, cover-ups, industrial espionage…those things definitely exist, with many secret agendas accompanied with them.

However, many people believe in a more sinister, universal conspiracy. They are sure that all of us are monitored and even controlled by some super-secret, completely hidden para-governmental organizations or even alien beings.

When you delve into these teachings, you will find that they are sometimes very persuasive, filled with countless examples and logical connections. But there are simply too many of those theories. When you compare them, you will inevitably find their mutual inconsistency or even total disagreement. What’s wrong? Unfortunately, they are typically driven by human inner flaws.

The two main forces that drive people toward conspiracy theories are curiosity and the victim mentality. There is no doubt that curiosity is a positive thing. Nevertheless, in this case, it may lead you to facing your own victim mentality in its worst form.

Why are Some People Attracted by Conspiracies?

I don’t want to judge people. All these assumptions and conclusions in this article are more or less general. However, in my experience, people who believe in some sorts of conspiracies are not always mentally stable and realistic. Here’s why.

The problematic roots within human nature that lead to immersing into conspiracy theories can be boiled down to the following behaviors and traits:

• Ego-play – the person thinks that he/she is one of the rare people who has access to the secret knowledge. They believe they are better, smarter, and more courageous than the majority of mankind. As a result of these beliefs, their ego is aggrandizing more and more.
• Mistrustfulness – the person is full of doubt toward others; he or she trusts almost nobody. The belief in some sort of conspiracy is a natural consequence of this mental structure. As they are mistrustful to their closest ones, they are also mistrustful to the whole society.
• Victim identity through rejecting the responsibility for own life – the person believes that almost all their problems or failures are caused by others – in this case, mostly by the sinister secret society, governmental agency or alien beings.

Victim Identity and Rejecting the Responsibility

Let’s consider the victim identity as one of the main causes of accepting the conspiracy theories. Similar conclusions can also be derived for the ego-play and mistrustfulness.