When you find yourself in the middle of hardship, overwhelmed with fear, anger, sorrow, or any other painful emotion, there is always a way out. So, I would like to recommend that you pass through several well-defined steps which will bring you great relief.
Here are ten tips on getting through tough times in life:
1. Say to yourself: There is a feeling of ______in me.
Recognize a predominant feeling in you that is related to the hardship you are experiencing. Focus on this feeling. Name it with as few words as possible.
For example: There is a feeling of fear in me.
2. Accept this feeling completely.
At this stage, try to apply the Total Acceptance technique on this feeling.
So, if you are feeling fear, you will need to fully accept it. Embrace it, without any resistance.
3. Feel in which part of your body this feeling is expressed and in which way (pain, tension, discomfort…).
While sensing the unpleasant feeling, determine its location within your body. In most cases, emotions are expressed in the stomach.
In our example, perhaps you are sensing the fear in your upper stomach; this part of your body is full of tension and discomfort.
4. Accept totally this unpleasant sensation in your body.
Now, this is one of the most important steps. Again, use the Total Acceptance technique. You have to completely accept the unpleasant sensation itself. To do that, you must repeat the Total Acceptance procedure several times, until the uncomfortable physical sensation is gone.
So, in the current example, you are accepting over and over again the tension and discomfort in your upper stomach. The chances are that the sensation will fade away eventually.
5. Everything has its own good purpose. Life is a great show. Everything is transient. Happiness always comes back.
These statements will soothe you even more and may deliver you profound relief. You just have to repeat to yourself these affirmations several times, with the conviction that they are true.
6. Open yourself completely to the Unknown.
Become aware that the Unknown brings infinite chances and opportunities. Do not fear of the Unknown. Embrace it and accept it fully. When you truly embrace it, you will see that it brings to you something novel and wonderful.
If you are experiencing fear in your hardship, this step is essential. However, the fear of Unknown is a hidden aspect of almost all other negative emotions, so it is always good to work on it.
7. Leave all uncertainty to God. He is with us, He loves us and protects us.
This step is for those of you who believe in God (Supreme Being, Creator, Deity…). If you are one of them, this stage can comfort you and give you a great deal of confidence.
8. Feel the love in your heart. Love yourself, love others.
This is also one of the most important steps in any kind of difficulty. Love is miraculous. It can heal, harmonize, and improve anything.
Typically, it is not easy to feel love when you are in hardship. Still, there are many ways to wake up the love in your heart.
Try this: Imagine that a toddler is approaching you. It is smiling innocently at you, wobbling in its walking. It is so cute, with bright, smiling eyes staring at you. The child is giggling with its sweet voice, telling you “I love you!” You are embracing it with warmth. How couldn’t you feel love toward such an innocent being?
This will open your heart. Now, let love rush out from your heart. Extend it also to yourself. Love yourself with your whole heart! Feel that you deserve the deepest Joy and Happiness. After all, you have always been giving the best you could. You, as well as that child, only want to be happy. You definitely deserve happiness! Love yourself, your body, and your whole being. Wish yourself all the best.
Let love amplify and expand to encompass all people around you. Love your family, your children, spouse, parents, friends, colleagues; love your job, your errands, and annoying things; love your enemies, too; let love pour out from your heart toward all of them. Extend your love to all humanity. Feel that you are part of it. Love your darling pets; love all animals, plants, and all living beings. Love your Mother Earth, the entire Universe, the entire Existence, dear God. Feel the fact that countless beings exist within the Creation, and all of them are trying to be happy in some way. Wish them all true happiness with your whole heart.
9. Forgive, forgive, forgive ... forgive yourself, forgive everyone!
To forgive means to release anger and resentment, lastingly.
This is also crucial. Whenever we are stuck in the mud of anger, resentment, blame, or guilt, we deeply suffer, as well as people around us. Although these feelings are not negative per se, they are conveyors of some vital messages to our conscious being. If neglected, they will severely undermine our health and overall well-being.
So, together with love, forgiveness is the ultimate healing tool on Earth. It liberates us directly from these unpleasant feelings, while, indirectly, it heals many diseases caused by them.
In this article, you can find many useful tips on how to truly forgive, both yourself and others.
10. Accept the WORST-CASE SCENARIOS that might happen, which are related to your challenge. Then only accept, accept, accept, ...everything in your mind. Feel the love in your heart again
Imagine the most difficult scenarios that may arise from the problem you are experiencing. It can be just one scenario or several. Face them. Accept them all, one by one.
If you succeed in this, you will be very, very close to the final resolution of your problem. At this stage, you will also be ready to accept anything that comes to your mind. You will have to do a small meditation. At this stage, you will be ready to accept anything that comes to your mind. You will have to do a small meditation.
Try to empty your mind. Totally accept everything that comes to your mind. Accept any disturbing thought that appears in your mind, any uncomfortable emotion which arises in your being, any painful sensation in your body, even the external happenings. After a while, you may sense beautiful, soothing bliss deep inside your being. Feel the love in your heart again.
So, whenever you are feeling scared, angry, sad, anxious, deeply disturbed, or sensing any other unpleasant emotion, try these pieces of advice, apply them one by one, with patience and determination. You will feel immense relief.
One again, here are all of these tips:
However, these tips are not always the final solution to your problem. Normally, you will have to deal with your problematic situation in a more extensive manner, either by employing the Reintegration System’s main techniques or to apply any other spiritual and psychological techniques that are most suitable to you.
Additionally, it is vital that you do regular meditation sittings and live consciously here and now as much as possible.
Happy inner work! :-)
Hardship is a frozen ship of love.
Nebo D. Lukovich
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