Learn to light a candle in the darkest moments of someone’s life. Be the light that helps others see; it is what gives life its deepest significance. ― Roy T. Bennett
Helping others is a noble idea, but a very sensitive one at the same time. Despite the mistakes we may make in our life, almost all of us actually have good intentions and just want to be happy. We also want our family, friends, and other people to be happy. We have a deeply ingrained urge to help others.
Unfortunately, this urge doesn’t always yield good results, because we have limited perception and often don’t know what is truly good for us or the people around us. Therefore, it is of utmost importance to know if we really should help someone or not.
Yet, we are not omniscient beings, until we fully awaken to our true nature. Accordingly, we cannot know all possible consequences of our deeds. But our true nature, which is a kind of divine unison of Love and Pure Consciousness, is the source of perfect intelligence and innate wisdom that can lead flawlessly all our actions.
Diversity of motivation
There are many ways of helping people, but we could outline a few basic forms that differ in their motives:
The Inner Source
First, we have to ponder the source of the situation that demands our help. Our approach here will rely on the Holographic principle, which assumes that our whole individual reality is essentially contained within ourself.
So, concerning us, the source is within our being. The situation which involves the person who needs help is a symbolical projection of a specific part of our own personality. That may be our suppressed victim mentality, a trauma from the childhood, a limiting belief, or anything else.
Concerning our friend who is asking for assistance, the source of her miserable situation is within herself. One of the elements of her personality has attracted the challenge she finds herself involved in.
Ultimately, each person is fully responsible for their own life. This assumption is radical and staggering but leads us to reclaiming our inner powers. However, how can we really help another human being if they are completely responsible for their own life? Think about this: ultimately, they are part of our own being, and we are also fully responsible for our own life. If we help others, we help ourself, too. And vice versa. But we need to know what the true help is.
Ultimately, each person is fully responsible for their own life. This assumption is radical and staggering but leads us to reclaiming our inner powers.
Help from Love and Presence transforms both involved beings. These kinds of help are indeed noble.
What actually happens here? We help another being sincerely and honestly, and that very action subtly changes both of us. The element of our personality that corresponds to the problem is being transformed by our pure Love or Presence, and at least one of its partial goals is accomplished. Consequently, the overall negative emotional charge of that element is being reduced.
Nevertheless, a number of its partial goals will likely remain and will be manifest next time. That is why a proactive approach is very important: to recognize the corresponding part of the personality and to reintegrate it completely, best by using some of the chain techniques of the Reintegration System (RS).
If we miss out on doing this, a similar situation will inevitably reoccur. This applies primarily to help from Love because people are often unconsciously drawn into a chronic rescuer-victim relationship. Almost all people who are repeatedly helping the same persons, whether out of pure love or from selfish reasons, sometimes get caught up in this relation. It becomes a habit.
Every habit has three components which make the so-called habit loop: trigger, routine and reward. The routine behavior is always triggered by a specific situation. But to keep the behavior going on perpetually, it has to be “fed” by a reward. Those three elements make the habit loop.
Related to helping others, the habit loop is also common. As the triggering situation appears, perhaps our friend shows up asking to borrow some money from us, one of our previous decisions on such sets is activated (say, ‘I will always help people in need’). We immediately respond and give our friend a hand. We also receive a reward – the friend’s gratitude and our sense of satisfaction that we have helped him. Moreover, a framework belief can be activated – ‘All good or bad returns,’ so we might even get something in return from the universe.
However, the overall benefits of this behavior are short-lived, as there are no fundamental changes in either our being or the one we help.
The point is in raising awareness at those moments. We leave the habit loop when we are in the state of Presence, where there is no habit. We act from the Heart, through the pure intelligence of our True Being. In this way, through each act of genuine kindness, we partially transform our inner part that corresponds to this situation.
We leave the habit loop when we are in the state of Presence, where there is no habit.
Sooner or later, we will have to face this part of our personality completely and to reintegrate it, which will permanently resolve such conditions.
So, our approach should be twofold: first, in situations when someone seeks help, we should enter the state of Presence and respond spontaneously. Second, we must discover which part of our personality created this situation and other similar circumstances from the past and to reintegrate it.
Rescuer and Victim Relationship
Now, let us examine the so-called victim mentality. It’s a chronic attitude of being a victim of something in life, whether it be a person, harsh circumstances or injustice in general.
Typically, we develop it during childhood when we needed more attention or love from parents. However, it has lost its positive function now, when we are adults. Needless to say, it is a very dangerous attitude, which attracts real troubles in life.
The person who is recurrently asking for our help probably has a strong victim mentality. But that also means that somewhere deep inside us there is a victim aspect of our own being, too.
Yet, there is even more to this story. Every victim has her own rescuer and bully. It is not surprising that the rescuer is a person or situation which often saves her from the troubles, while the bully is a person or situation that apparently puts her in the same trouble again. The victim needs both of them. It’s a vicious and unhealthy cycle that gets ever stronger over time.
As the topic here is help, we, as the helper, will often take the role of rescuer.
The person who is recurrently asking for our help probably has a strong victim mentality.
What you resist not only persists, but will grow in size. – Carl Jung
There are so many mental techniques for physical pain relief. Indeed, our mind has proven to be powerful enough to cope with any pain. The question is which technique we should use in our struggle to overcome suffering.
You can find on the internet so many methods. Some of them work for some people, but for others, they don’t.
However, it’s important to know that methods which involve any kind of ignoring or suppressing a painful sensation can work temporarily, but they fail in the long run and can bring about its frequent reappearance with even increased intensity. The reason is suppression. Anything we suppress will re-emerge one day. So, the suppression is the cause of pain’s reappearance.
Methods which involve any kind of ignoring or suppressing a painful sensation can work temporarily, but they fail in the long run.
And the real cause of pain is our resistance to that particular sensation. So, we must accept it.
Therefore, effective pain relief techniques must have two aspects: facing the pain and accepting it.
Five Exceptional Techniques
Here I’ll describe five techniques that have been proven to be really helpful to me and to many other people as well. Nevertheless, that doesn’t mean they work for everyone. Also, you should always consult your physician.
Before and after applying any of these techniques, it is highly recommended that you quantify the intensity of your pain on a zero-to-ten scale. By doing this way, the change will become obvious and measurable, you’ll much easier accept the true power of these approaches, and your subsequent practice will get strengthened and deepened.
Before and after applying any of these techniques, quantify the intensity of your pain on a zero-to-ten scale.
1. Dissolving the Temporary I
As one of the basic Reintegration techniques, the Dissolving the Temporary I (DTI) is a powerful method for integration or removal the unwanted emotions, thoughts and sensations. As physical pain is typically considered to be a sort of bodily sensation, this technique, if applied correctly, is extremely effective for this purpose.
The technique is based on the relationship between the subject (our transient sense of self, of the “Temporary I”), and the object (in this case, the pain). The core concept is quite simple, and it works perfectly: if your transitory “I” disappears, so will do the object you were experiencing.
To learn this 5-step technique, you will have to do some introduction exercises first, but it’s definitely worth the effort. Here you can find the detailed instruction for learning the method.
If your transitory “I” disappears, so will do the object you were experiencing.
2. All-Inclusive Attention
The concept of “open focus” or “diffuse attention” was thoroughly researched and developed by American neuroscientist Les Fehmi.
Normally, our focus is too narrow as we are trying all the time to concentrate on only one thing, missing everything else. We are typically “lost” in anything we do – in thoughts, emotions, conversations, sensual pleasures, anxiety, fear, and so on. It is an involuntary process, a habit of trying to focus on a single object as though we are continually in the living conditions that demand our “fight-or-flight” mode of functioning, which leads us to a constant accumulation of stress and subsequent suffering.
 Fehmi, Les. The Open-Focus Brain: Harnessing the Power of Attention to Heal Mind and Body. Shambhala Publications. Kindle Edition.
Normally, our focus is too narrow as we are trying all the time to concentrate on only one thing, missing everything else. We are typically “lost” in anything we do.
We should definitely change this habit, not only to release stress and overcome pain but to the benefit of all aspects of our lives.
First, we should learn how to extend and diffuse our attention. Here’s how:
Open your eyes (if they are closed), look at the wall in front of you and pick up one distinctive point on it. (This we will call the ‘physical attention,’ as opposed to ‘mental attention,’ which means to focus your mind externally or internally on something.) Concentrate on that point for 15-30 seconds. If any thought arises, just accept it and return your physical and mental attention to the point on the wall.
Then, while keeping your eyes fixated on the point, extend your mental attention to a circular area around the point. Gradually extend the area of your mental attention more and more, while keeping your physical attention at the chosen point.
Wander around the room for a while with your mental attention. If your eyes unintentionally move, simply return them to the first point of the physical attention, and continue with the other parts of your eyesight, that are preferably more away from the physical point of attention.
You may even try to become aware of the things behind your physical eyesight or to include sounds and other sensations.
After several minutes of shifting your mental attention around, try to immerse yourself into a unified attention - be mentally attentive of your physical point and everything else, including yourself.
Now, after some initial practice of the all-inclusive attention, you will be able to do the pain removal process.
First of all, you need to locate the small area within your body that represents the pain. Even if your pain is all-encompassing, permeating your whole body, you should first pick up one part of it where the painful sensation is most intense.
Next, concentrate on the most painful area. Let it be your starting point for the similar process of extending the attention, as described above. This time, include into your awareness not only the whole visual area, but also all sounds you are hearing, all other sensations you are sensing at the moment, everything else you might be experiencing, and space which is behind all of that.
Notice that your pain is only a small portion of your whole experience now. Allow it to spread, diffuse and dissipate into your wide field of attention, to merge with your whole experience, awareness, and space beneath everything. It will dissolve.
Do this for about 30 seconds to one minute. Repeat the process from the beginning (locating and concentrating on the pain, then diffusing it through all-inclusive attention), as long as there are any traces of the pain.
3. Accepting and Dwelling in Pain
This is a straightforward and also very effective way of coping with pain. It is based on the fact that everything we resist, persists. Even more, it’ll grow up over time. Therefore, the remedy is to accept it completely. And that is not only applicable to physical pain but to virtually anything in our lives. Whenever we completely and honestly accept any thought, emotion or sensation, we become free of it. It will not bother us anymore. We have learned that lesson.
Thinking is only a small aspect of consciousness. Thought cannot exist without consciousness, but consciousness does not need thought. ― Eckhart Tolle
Thoughts are mysterious and elusive entities which so frequently appear in our heads that they are considered to be an essential part of our identity. Moreover, we are so identified with them that many of us have completely accepted the famous quote by Descartes: I think, therefore I am.
But that is not true.
Our true nature is not determined by thoughts. In fact, they obscure it, as clouds obscure the Sun.
It’s unquestionable that the practical value of thoughts in our lives is immense. Their role in analyzing and structuring a huge stream of data flowing into our minds is indispensable. Their power of generalization and abstract contemplation, of ‘seeing the wood despite the trees,’ is also of utmost importance to us. The mankind has made great advances in science and technology, and, of course, that wouldn’t be possible without the thinking process.
Thinking is one of the essential stages of our spiritual evolution. In the first phase, conscious beings are thoughtless, enjoying the calmness of pure presence in the Now. They are partially conscious of their surroundings, but they are not conscious of themselves. Such beings are animals, for example. In the next phase, thanks to the thinking process, conscious beings are able to become self-aware and to intentionally expand their consciousness. In the final stage, they become thoughtless again, because they don’t need thoughts anymore. They don’t need to analyze or generalize, as they simply know. The subject and the object, the inner and the outer reality merge, and they don’t need any intermediary between them.
Are Thoughts Obstacles to Spiritual Enlightenment?
Therefore, if we want to achieve the final spiritual awakening and inner freedom, we should transcend thoughts. Or at least some spiritual traditions teach us so. Accordingly, the main question related to our spiritual growth could be: what to do with thoughts in our practice? Or, should they be considered as obstacles to spiritual enlightenment?
 A similar thing can be said for emotions, but they are not within the scope of this article. However, emotions can also be regarded as the ‘thoughts of our body,’ so they can be dealt with in like manner.
If we want to achieve the final spiritual awakening and inner freedom, we should transcend thoughts.
So…let’s say we are meditating. Perhaps we are simply trying to focus on our awareness. Or we are concentrating upon a candle, or praying, or doing a mantra meditation. Maybe we are trying to consciously breathe. Or doing loving-kindness meditation. No matter which kind of spiritual practice we are engaged in, we will be repeatedly and inevitably dealing with some distractive thoughts. We’ll get immersed in them, each time, until we become aware of the fact that our practice has actually been interrupted.
It seems that thoughts are obstacles to a smooth spiritual practice. Are they really? Should we be fighting them?
No matter which kind of spiritual practice we are engaged in, we will be repeatedly and inevitably dealing with some distractive thoughts.
Ways of Dealing with Thoughts in Meditation
The vast majority of meditative techniques all around the world deal with apparently distracting thoughts in these ways:
During our mindfulness practice, we are trying to consciously experience the present moment. Our mind is calm as we stay fully conscious of our breathing, of each movement of our body, of visual textures and patterns in the surrounding, of sounds, tastes, smells or anything else that is entering our senses.
However, when a thought or emotion arises, our mindfulness practice essentially breaks down. We get immersed in the thought and completely forget to be consciously present. Only when we become aware that we’ve forgotten to be mindful, then we are able to accept the thought and return to the present moment.
But is this a right approach? Thoughts are coming back again and again. Just when we think we succeeded to calm down our mind for several minutes, hours or even months, and have entered a state of deep and apparently irreversible inner peace, a surge of thoughts, emotions and other mind content rushes into our being and destroys our peace completely.
Aren’t we subtly suppressing our thoughts and emotions by simply ignoring or acknowledging them before returning to the present moment? It seems so, as everything we suppress must emerge again, sooner or later. That’s the case with thoughts and emotions, too.
Spiritual enlightenment is one of the most elusive ideas in our lives. Nobody actually knows what it is, apart from a few people who are indeed enlightened. We don’t know who they are, as we don’t know what enlightenment is, and whether those people are honest or not, after all. If they are truly enlightened, they don’t talk about it, as there is no need for that, or it’s simply indescribable.
We could even say that every attempt to explain enlightenment or talk about it is rude or presumptuous. Maybe it is, but sometimes we simply are too curious and bold to do such things.
Nonetheless, if we want to talk about enlightenment, we have to define it in the first place. It’s not an easy task, however, and in this article I will use two sources: enlightenment as considered by some of the eastern spiritual traditions (as western traditions can have a completely different understanding of this term), and spiritual symbolism that can be found in modern physics.
If we want to talk about enlightenment, we have to define it in the first place.
The idea of spiritual enlightenment is present in all of the eastern spiritual traditions. The main four of them are Buddhism, Hinduism, Taoism, and Jainism, which offer these terms:
Although differing greatly in their views on enlightenment and one’s supposed path to it, these ancient spiritual traditions seem to agree upon this: enlightenment is a permanent, irreversible state of highest happiness, perfect stillness, inner freedom, liberation from suffering and rebirth, and realization of the highest truth.
Ancient spiritual traditions seem to agree upon this: enlightenment is a permanent, irreversible state of highest happiness, perfect stillness, inner freedom, liberation from suffering and rebirth, and realization of the highest truth.
Stages of Becoming Enlightened
In my opinion, it is not possible to distinguish any levels of enlightenment itself, as it is the final stage of awakening, the absolute liberation (whatever that means) and as such unequivocal and definite.
However, as there are many paths leading to it, there are numerous stages leading to that state, too. For example, in Theravada Buddhism, there are four stages of enlightenment. In this case, I would re-formulate this overview as the stages to enlightenment, except the fourth stage, which refers to the attributes of an enlightened human being.
These stages represent signposts on the gradual path of expansion of consciousness that leads toward the final goal, liberation.
Some spiritual traditions, however, like Zen Buddhism or Dzogchen, have a rapid or sudden approach to attaining enlightenment. Through their practices, they are trying to swiftly leave the mind behind and realize the Truth. While that approach is simpler and seemingly faster, it has its traps and may easily lead to a false sense of enlightenment.
 Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Four_stages_of_enlightenment
Some spiritual traditions, however, like Zen Buddhism or Dzogchen, have a rapid or sudden approach to attaining enlightenment.
There are also people, for whom the spiritual work is not necessary for achieving the final liberation. These relatively rare individuals apparently have mysterious inherent abilities and pre-conditions for attaining enlightenment. They usually achieve liberation suddenly, with little or no effort at all.
Here is an amazing story of Eckhart Tolle’s awakening:
“One night not long after my twenty-ninth birthday, I woke up in the early hours with a feeling of absolute dread. (…) ‘I cannot live with myself any longer.’ This was the thought that kept repeating itself in my mind. Then suddenly I became aware of what a peculiar thought it was. ‘Am I one or two? If I cannot live with myself, there must be two of me: the ‘I’ and the ‘self’ that ‘I’ cannot live with.’ ‘Maybe,’ I thought, ‘only one of them is real.’ I was so stunned by this strange realization that my mind stopped. I was fully conscious, but there were no more thoughts. Then I felt drawn into what seemed like a vortex of energy. It was a slow movement at first and then accelerated. I was gripped by an intense fear, and my body started to shake. I heard the words ‘resist nothing,’ as if spoken inside my chest. I could feel myself being sucked into a void. It felt as if the void was inside myself rather than outside. Suddenly, there was no more fear, and I let myself fall into that void. I have no recollection of what happened after that.
I was awakened by the chirping of a bird outside the window. I had never heard such a sound before. My eyes were still closed, and I saw the image of a precious diamond. Yes, if a diamond could make a sound, this is what it would be like. I opened my eyes. The first light of dawn was filtering through the curtains. Without any thought, I felt, I knew, that there is infinitely more to light than we realize. That soft luminosity filtering through the curtains was love itself. Tears came into my eyes. I got up and walked around the room. I recognized the room, and yet I knew that I had never truly seen it before. Everything was fresh and pristine, as if it had just come into existence. I picked up things, a pencil, an empty bottle, marveling at the beauty and aliveness of it all. That day I walked around the city in utter amazement at the miracle of life on earth, as if I had just been born into this world.
Would you like to have a wise life guide, available with their reliable answers all day long, 24/7? Wouldn’t be great to ask him or her any question related to your life challenges, relationship issues, important decisions, or virtually anything else that your curiosity might demand? Yes, it is absolutely possible with the ancient Chinese book of wisdom, called the I Ching. You can communicate with it pretty easily using various tools which I will present later on.
The process of consulting the I Ching is not some mumbo-jumbo. It is a serious process of learning in which we are facing our own responsibility for life. We are also learning to open our minds, to question everything, to embrace both our excellence and vulnerability, and, most importantly, to open our hearts. It’s an ancient practice of tapping into a vast field of wisdom and knowledge, the knowledge which is already present in ourselves and in the collective consciousness of the Mankind.
The process of consulting the I Ching is not some mumbo-jumbo. It is a serious process of learning in which we are facing our own responsibility for life. We are also learning to open our minds, to question everything, to embrace both our excellence and vulnerability, and, most importantly, to open our hearts.
I was convinced in all of this repeatedly for the last twenty-five or so years. When I encountered the Book for the first time, I was suspicious and even derisive of it. However, after some time, I realized that “there was something to it.” Not only that, I had been increasingly amazed at the depth and profoundness of its symbolic guidance. Over time, it has greatly contributed to my spiritual and emotional maturity and I’ve seen that same effect on other people as well.
So, the Book of Changes or I Ching is not a usual book. In fact, it is a comprehensive philosophical system which covers virtually all aspects of life and existence in general, with its 8 basic “trigrams” (compositions of three different horizontal lines) and 64 “hexagrams” (each consisting of six lines). Therefore, it is not primarily intended for divination. It is a deep and complex philosophical and spiritual teaching. You can do both – read it and ask it for answers.
Nevertheless, its coaching power is immense. Its symbolical responses are intricate and multi-layered, with both direct meaning related to the question and the description of the overall situation, its various aspects, and advice what to do and how to behave. The Book’s answers consist of one or two hexagrams, each with a symbolic meaning that can be applied to virtually every life situation.
I know that many of you are eager to find out how to get these wise answers, but still, I would strongly recommend that you first delve a little bit into the Book’s metaphysical foundations, in order to adjust your subconscious mind to its powerful collective energy. By doing this way, you will more easily establish an effective communication, pose the best questions and understand the Book’s responses.
The Book’s answers consist of one or two hexagrams, each with a symbolic meaning that can be applied to virtually every life situation.
Fundamental Concepts of the Book
The I Ching is based on the Taoist understanding of changes of the two basic aspects of existence - Yin (female, passive principle) and Yang (male, active principle), and their dynamic relationship. Yin and Yang are seemingly two opposites, but essentially, they are two complementary images of the same underlying reality. In ancient China, this reality is called Tao.
The I Ching is based on the Taoist understanding of changes of the two basic aspects of existence - Yin (female, passive principle) and Yang (male, active principle), and their dynamic relationship.
The Tai Chi symbol usually represents their dynamic interrelationship:
The Tai Chi symbol tells us that these two basic forces are always interconnected and fluctuating. When you go around the circle of the symbol, you will see that one of them is getting stronger, while the other is decreasing, and vice versa. The dots inside each of them represent the seeds of the other force, arising within it.
The message is deep, yet quite simple: life is based on two complementary, indivisible principles, active and passive. They are always changing. When one of them is at its peak, it will inevitably transform into its opposite. The other principle arises.
The message of Yin and Yang to all of us, in all circumstances, is simple, yet enlightening: This, too, shall pass.
Characteristics of Two Basic Principles
The following characteristics are attributed to Yin and Yang:
Yin: Female, Passive, Dark, Material, Earth, Negative, Low, Smooth, Warm
Yang: Male, Active, Bright, Spiritual, Celestial, Positive, High, Strong, Cold
Above stated features never imply anything bad or wrong. Even the “dark,” “cold or “negative” do not really mean something bad. They are simply neutral attributes that can be considered as “good” or “bad” only by the limited human mind in specific conditions.
The two fundamental principles are being represented by two types of lines: broken (yin) and solid (yang) line, as shown in the figures below.
These two types of lines may form the so-called “trigrams” (compositions of three successive lines) or “hexagrams” (combinations of six consecutive lines). Here is an example of trigram:
Now, let's take a look at a hexagram:
Author: Sarah Davies
Virtually anything can become an addiction. Whether the object of your affliction is a chemical substance or a disruptive behavior, it can easily be considered an addiction when it’s keeping you from freely experiencing the happiness and health that you deserve. If you fear that you or someone you love may be beginning to suffer from the effects of an addiction, it’s time to be proactive in creating a better future.
1. You Feel an Overwhelming Need
There are certain things that everyone should feel an overwhelming need for. Things like food, water, the love of their family, and success in one’s career should inspire these feelings. If you feel an overwhelming need for something that’s counterproductive and stops you from accomplishing the goals you feel driven to accomplish - it may be time to adjust your perspective. Spend some time alone, think about what you do, meditate and identify all the negative addictions that are stopping you from achieving your goals. Only then can you truly start to break free.
2. Your Thoughts Feel Disruptive
Meditation is vital for a healthy mind. We all need to be able to let our thoughts pass us by from time to time. It reduces stress and helps us appreciate the great things that lift us up. If you can’t meditate without disruptive or intrusive thoughts about your potential addiction, this is a red flag. You deserve to have peace of mind.
3. You Can’t Budget Anymore
Addictions are often tough on the wallet. Money often causes stress in people’s lives, and that stress is intensified when a significant portion of the monthly budget winds up being allotted towards an addiction. This is money you could be spending taking a weekend camping trip in the mountains or having brunch with your closest friends. Don’t let the addiction stop you.
4. Your Home Life Feels Unfulfilling
Addiction has a tendency to isolate us from the people we love. Home should feel like a sanctuary, whether you live with your family or live on your own. This should be a place where you can grow, reflect, flourish, and share the company of others with similar aspirations. When home doesn’t feel the way home should feel, it could be a result of the presence of addiction oppressing what should be a comforting environment.
5. Your Career is Suffering
Individuals living with addiction often see a decline in career performance, particularly because of the damage that mind altering substances can cause. If you always envisioned yourself in a higher level position with enough money in savings to take a vacation abroad every year, no addiction is better than that opportunity.
6. You Feel Yourself in Toxic Relationships
Addictions often involve a significant amount of networking. Addicts need to know people who can help them feed their addiction. These acquaintanceships are superficial, and the people who maintain them are deprived of the ability to learn and grow with likeminded individuals. In fact, it is only with the people that truly love and respect you that you can create the kinds of friendships that make the world go round - and those are the ones that everyone needs.
7. You’re Breaking The Rules You’ve Set for Your Life
Addictions take us far off course. We’re all dreamers to an extent – that’s how we plan our futures. Everyone has deep aspirations, and some people want to go as far as changing the world. Anyone who is devoted to their dreams can make great strides in achieving them when they’ve lifted themselves free from the burden of addiction. It’s a lot of weight to carry, and dropping that weight makes the world feel limitless.
If you feel like you might be affected by addiction, it’s never too late to take action. The sooner you target and resolve your addiction, the sooner you’ll find yourself back on the right track of living your life to the fullest.
Many people just don’t like meditating in a sitting posture, as they prefer a horizontal position instead.
Some practitioners also want to meditate or practice mindfulness in every possible situation and bodily posture, from sitting to lying in bed, to walking, to exercising, and even to sleeping. Here you will find some ideas, backed with great feedback of numerous practitioners, that might be helpful to all of you wanting to meditate even while lying down.
But first, why should we do the meditation in a horizontal position in the first place?
Benefits of Meditation Lying Down
There are so many benefits. As all other types of meditation and mindfulness, this kind of practice will bring you:
These are not claims, these are the facts. They have been confirmed by countless scientific researches and explorations, and you can check it out on the Internet and numerous scientific magazines.
Lying Down Meditation as Preparation for Sleep
One of the most reliable methods that can lead you to a conscious and deeply relaxing, rejuvenating sleep is Yoga Nidra. It is an ancient practice which can bring you exquisite results.
One of the most reliable methods that can lead you to a conscious and deeply relaxing, rejuvenating sleep is Yoga Nidra.
Nidra, which means “yogic sleep,” is a meditation that deals with deep sleep consciousness. During this meditation, through which you are typically guided by an instructor, you are scanning your body and entering a very deep state of relaxation. During this process, your body will slip into a deep sleep, and yet your mind will remain fully aware.
How to Meditate in Horizontal Position
First, if you are tired, do not close your eyes, as you will dive into sleep soon. If you feel fresh and energized, and still don’t want to, for example, do a walking meditation outdoors, then you may close your eyes.
It is advisable that your lying posture is similar to the ‘savasana’ pose in yoga, which basically involves lying down flat on the back with your palms facing upward.
Author: David Beeshaw
Going through addiction treatment may be the hardest thing that you have ever done, but it will all be for nothing if you can’t get back into normal life afterwards. Many people find it difficult to make the transition, and this can lead to relapses as well as other problems. Here are some tips to help you make that transition smoothly, and to take control of your life again.
Start during treatment
The first stage begins while you are still undergoing your treatment. Think about how you are going to cope with life on the outside without your addiction. Learn to recognise the signs of an imminent relapse, and how to control yourself at those times. Think about your triggers and figure out how to avoid them – and what you will do when confronted with them. Try talking to your friends and family about the support that you will need on the other side.
Take it slow
Don’t expect things to be easy right from the start. A transition is a gradual process, and you can’t rush it. The pace of life may be different from what you are used to, and you may find yourself with free time now that you no longer have your addiction to swallow it up. Don’t expect to be able to go home, see the same faces and go to the same places where your addiction ruled, and be able to resist right away. Start with the safest environments and work from there.
One thing that you may wish to do is to make amends for the things you did while you were addicted. It might be that a simply apology is enough. It might be that you need to work, pay, or make up for things in some other way to make everyone happy. The important thing is that you close the book on that chapter of your life by making amends for everything in it. If you are still feeling guilt over things you have done, reintegration therapy and meditation will really help to let go of that guilt and start over. If you let the guilt remain, it will only damage your future.
Replace your addictive habits
In order to get back to normal life, you might actually have to create a new normal. The people and things you did before might not be suited to a recovering addict, and so this means starting again. Find new friends who are not addicted, and who will lead you in a healthy direction. Take up exercise or a new hobby which can fill your time. You could even take up charity work if you wanted to pay back to society. Make sure that you eat and sleep well so that both your body and your mind are healthy and well rested. If faith helped to get you through your treatment, then now is a good time to recommit to your faith, perhaps by taking part in faith groups.
Make new goals
Part of normal life is moving forwards. Make some new goals for yourself, either to do with your fitness, your career, your hobby, or so forth. These goals will give you something to work towards, and when you feel that relapse is near, it may help to focus on these and how much you would be throwing away if you gave up now.
Getting back to normal certainly isn’t easy after addiction treatment, but it is far from impossible. With a support network, a positive outlook, and plans for moving forward, you can do it.
Author: David Beeshaw
David Beeshaw is a health blogger who dedicated his time and efforts to help people dealing with HIV and STIs. A part of the team at raTrust, David often writes about psychological problems and stigma those at risk of STIs face and deal with.
Drug addicts often don’t want to admit that they have a problem. Until they do that, they cannot enter treatment or successfully overcome their addiction.
In most cases, addicts' denial is covered by a multitude of excuses, which you will need to destroy if you want to get through to them. Here are some of the most popular excuses you will hear from drug addicts in denial, together with some ideas on how to overcome them.
1. I’m only hurting myself
This is a form of self-sabotage, and it’s also a lie. Addicts will say that their behaviour only affects themselves, and if you are a member of their family or a loved one, you will know it’s not true. Addicts can hurt everyone that cares about them, and if their behaviour descends to the level of crime, they will be hurting others too. Explain how much you have been hurt by their actions so far to counter this excuse.
2. I can quit any time
This is such a common excuse that it has become a punchline. Make a challenge: if that’s true, ask them to quit for just one week to prove it. Their failure to do so will be something you can use next time they say this – and if they succeed, then they may end up going clean long-term.
3. I’m under a lot of stress
Addictive behaviour can often be triggered, or worsened, by traumatic or stressful events. However, due to the nature of addiction, it’s not likely that things will ever get better while they are using. Explain to them that there are other, healthier ways to deal with stress, and that you are willing to try those methods out with them.
There’s no law of physics that hasn’t been transcended. In the end, the only law is that there is no law. - John Wheeler, theoretical physicist
Modern science has reached the point where it is inquiring the very foundations of the universe. Was it created by a conscious creator? Or did it simply pop out from nothingness, by a mere chance?
There are countless debates now whether the physical laws of the universe are finely tuned to support biological life or not. There is a good reason for that: they indeed seem to be tweaked for life.
As you probably know, many laws of physics are deeply dependent on various constant numbers that are parts of equations describing these laws. Those numbers are called the universal constants – the speed of light (c), gravitational constant (G), electric constant (ε0), Planck's constant (ħ), the mass of an electron (me), two parameters of the Higgs field potential, etc. Moreover, there are also even more fundamental constants that are dimensionless (i.e. not dependent on the unit system used to express the quantity). Those are, for example, the fine-structure constant (α), which defines the strength of the electromagnetic interaction between elementary charged particles, or proton-to-electron mass ratio, or the cosmological constant, which is the density of dark energy in the universe, and so on.
There is a strong notion among scientists, backed by many extrapolations, that if any of these universal constants were only slightly different, the Universe wouldn’t be supportive of any kind of biological life. For example, if the gravitational constant were smaller, the stars couldn’t be formed. If it were too large, the stars couldn’t survive or their life span would be much shorter, so in either case, life wouldn’t be possible. Similar conclusions can be deduced for all other universal constants.
If any of these universal constants were only slightly different, the Universe wouldn’t be supportive of any kind of biological life.
One of the solutions could be that we live in a multiverse, consisting of a huge or even infinite number of universes, each having different internal laws of physics.
Hence, the possibility of the emergence of a universe out of nothing, which is suitable for biological life and/or development of conscious beings, is practically equal to zero. There must be a conscious creator of this world.
Or is it so?
One of the solutions could be that we live in a multiverse, consisting of a huge or even infinite number of universes, each having different internal laws of physics.
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